36 hours.

This probably isn't healthy.

Spenind 24 hours away from B is a nightmare. Spending more than 24 hours away from B is a bigger nightmare. Spending a total of (by Thursday night) 58 hours is the biggest nightmare ever.

He got really sick Tuesday morning so the hubby and I met halfway between here and where he lives for work and I dropped B with him. Last night was brutal. Tonight is a little more bearable. By tomorrow night when he gets home I will be at the point where I want him in my bed. Thankfully, I was able to work these past two days while my husband has him. I know he's in safe hands and is being taken care of, but it's the motherly instinct that kicks in whenever I'm away from him or he's away. It's that list. I fear something will happen to him and I'm not there to help him or comfort him.

I'll tell you this. I do thank the Lord that, being young parents, we have stayed together unlike so many young couples out there. Don't know what I would do if we had to do a custody thing. I love both my boys.

On the upside of being away from him, I have been able to speak to him on the phone and we have had some fun conversations! Specifically one that went on tonight.

His favorite thing ever to do is push the END button when we're done talking on the phone with his dad and of course in the end he also like pushing the button whe nhe's on the phone with him. After we hung up the first time they called me back immediately:

Me: Hello?
B: *crying* I didn't get to push the button
Me: Oh okay buddy. Goodnight, I love you.
B: Goodnight...lahve you. (how he says love)
Husband: Did you push the button?
B: Yeah
H: Okay. You have to go poop?
B: Yeah
H: Okay. We're almost home
Me: Uh...push the button buddy!
B&H: Hysterical laughing.

Oh my word. It was so good to hear him laughing so much. The last time I saw him he looked miserable because he hadn't eaten in about 24 hours and was throwig up all morning. I'm so happy he's healthy again.

Although, it's the second Viral Infection of the stomach he had in 2 months. Scares me, but I guess if it happens again in 2 months, I'll have to be really concerned and talk to the doctor about it.

Healthy.

Motherhood.

Did this on his own last winter.
He likes his things in order.

Gets OCD about it almost.

Simply Sweet

I lay in bed listening to my son snore softly and can't help but want to cuddle him up.

Started my second week of work! B seems to be enjoying it. Today was the greatest day in a 3 year olds eyes ever. (Although it was great for me as well!) Seems as if spring and fall switched places and it's now raining all the time. Since it was so yucky out today we did some amazing things in the house...

Wait for it...

WE HAD A MOVIE DAY!!

Granted, half way through they both got up and played for 20 minutes, but they enjoyed themselves! We didn't have all the fixin's though. No popcorn. That was a bummer. The baby slept for 2 hours though which gave them uninterrupted viewing time as well. It was a fabulous time. I'm also trying to remember my funny conversations with them, but it's so hard when two 3 year olds talk to all day in hysterically funny ways! Need to find motherhood-y things to write about!

Note to self: Get pen and paper and write them down!

My child gets languages mixed up. At least, when he talks in his sleep, he sounds like he's speaking Tagalog (which is the language for Filipino's which is what my husband is). Makes me wonder if he secretly knows the language since my husband and his grandparents have spoken it in front of him since the day he was born(even in womb! TMI?).

He's feeling a little under the weather right now which isn't a good sign for my week ahead. Fevers for no reason and just all around tired. Last night he woke up in hysterics with a fever of 102 and tonight he woke up (after an hour of sleeping) in hysterics in a cold sweat and a temp of 96.9. Hopefully his fever broke.He crawled into my bed after I calmed him down and passed out within 2 seconds of his head hitting the pillow. I'm going to call the doctor tomorrow morning and try to make an appointment for Wednesday morning before work or go to the take care clinic tomorrow morning at Walgreens before work. Who knows the reasonings for this all.

Ears are red which happens to me when I get tired.
Fevers for no reason which happens to me when I get tired.
Complains about his head hurting, which happens to me when I'm overly tired.

Although, it could mean he has a sinus problem and that's not good for my son if they are anything like mine. So I think my call as of right now is to go to take care clinic in the morning!

Off to snoring land as well.

Zzzzzzz.

Motherhood.

Sick in Louisiana last year. November 2010

The List

There is a list I sift through.

As mothers, we tend to worry about our children from the minute we find out we're pregnant. Can I do this or that while pregnant? Is it okay to eat this or that? What about that infamous glass of red wine we're allowed to have, is it truly okay? Then when they are born, phew, do our minds really get working. Is he/she breathing when they're asleep? They sleep on their stomach, is that okay? Is he/she getting enough to eat? Do they need me to hold them more? Am I holding them too much? It's never ending in our brains whether we realize it or not.

For me, it was all of those questions and then some. Every one of those questions, literally, kept me up at night. The worst of them all was the fear that his room would catch on fire. I never understood as to why I would think things of this magnitude. I've never thought about it with even myself in my own room being trapped like that. Post Partum Depression didn't help the situation. (I thank the Lord for getting the help I needed and conquering that as well.) Now it's a whole new set of questions that I constantly ask myself.

Is it wrong that he's not in Pre-K right now?
He doesn't recognize letters, is that bad?
He doesn't recognize numbers, is that okay?
Is it bad that he needs my help still to go to the bathroom?
He would rather sit to pee than stand...is that alright?

These are just things that are constantly going through my mind. Now he's on a kick of needing mommy, all over again. Does that make me a bad mom for taking up a babysitting job and concentrating on other children with him around? Does it make me a bad mother by having to lose time with him on Friday nights and Saturday mornings to go to school? Those two questions I know will be for the better in the long run, but it's still heart wrenching for myself to even THINK like that.

The final question for me is...IS IT NORMAL!? Is it normal to think like this? Is it normal that I don't know these answers myself? What will it take to not think about things like this.

I know he will learn to recognize his numbers and letters.
I know he won't miss out on not being in school right now.
I know he'll learn to go to the bathroom on his own.
I know he'll learn to pee while standing up.

You're asking, "if you know all this, then why stress?"
Because it's who I am. I'm a stressed out worried about my son, kind of mother.

Should get used to it right? I'll be worried about him for the rest of my life, I'm sure of it.

Stressed.

Worried.
Motherhood.

PS: I have 270 pictures on my phone of my son. Going to start posting them at the end of every post. Starting with Halloween, 2010 in Belle Chasse, LA (Lived there for 6 months)

Toddler Rules

Made it on through.

The joys of working are great. You get paid. You do something you like (or hate but can't quit). But the best part of my job? Enjoying playing, bantering, three year olds all day. Oh my gosh. If anyone ever doubts that toddler's don't understand the world, put them in a room with a two way mirror, looking onto toddler's playing. The conversations they have are crazy. Especially when it comes to creating new games and rules to these new games.

Z: Let's play soccer!
B: Yea! Knock cones over soccer.
Z: OKAY!!

Like really? Soccer is fun. Knocking the cones over to play soccer is even better?! Who would have thought. Or the fact that picking up sticks and putting them into mud is the greatest entertainment in the world.

Me: It's a forest of sticks!
Z: It's a stick house!
B: Stick castle!
Z: Stick castle?
B: Yea!

Not sure where that one came from, but it came from somewhere and boy did they go with it. All they talked about from there on out was their stick castle. It's all just so funny. Sometimes I do wonder what goes on in their little heads. But then again, they remember everything so vividly that it comes out in their playing.

The whole aftermath of this day came at (of course) bed time. You would think a kid that had been yawning throughout his dinner, laid on the couch for an hour, took the quickest bath in the world, and could barely keep his eyes open would be ecstatic for bed time. What did my child do? Scream bloody freakin' murder. Thank the lord it's chilly out and the windows are closed. Cops may have been called on me. Like the exorcist child "Mommmaaaaaaa" all raspy and awkward. (I hope he's okay...)

I swear, sometimes I want to have a heart to heart with his brain.
"Listen here brain of my three year old son. In, oh let's say, 10 years you'll be wanting to kick my ass for waking you UP from your naps. You will LOVE going to bed and then 10-15 years after that, you'll want to crawl into bed at 9:00pm especially if you have a child screaming like he's being chased by a bloody monster."

Is that weird? Or do I just give up now and hope it isn't like this every night. I so wish I could flap around on the ground screaming my head off when I'm exhausted. That would be about 95% of my day.

He'll be refreshed tomorrow. That's what 10 hours of sleep better do for him.

Sigh.
Motherhood.

(Picture from a month or so ago, love it though)



Coming out on top

Strong willed women.

I just finished reading an article about four women who coped with the stress of having children and every day life by drinking. Not only did I feel for these mothers (being a stay-at-home-mom and all) but it made me want to give all the stay-at-home-moms a big hug and pat on the back for the work we do every single day. I know plenty ladies that are home all day with one, two, or three kids. It's a tough job, but someon has to do it and that someone is us mothers out there.

Don't get me wrong, the mother's that work and then go home to deal with children, dinner, and cleaning are just as recognizable as the ones that are at home. Some of the ladies within the article also went to work and came home and dealt with their own families.

The whole article just inspires me to want to be a great mother even on the days that I too could use a glass of wine or three. But the stories these women shared are amazing and although I don't know them, I'm proud of them for going through what they went through and coming out a stronger woman.

Here is the article link.
http://www.redbookmag.com/kids-family/advice/alcoholic-mom

Enjoy.

Motherhood.

Is it punishment if it's a game to him?

Is that a smile?

Although my initial posts were on the bad/ridiculous side of my life, I now have quite some funny ones.

You see, I work out every day in the morning while my son plays in the daycare at my gym. As per usual, he stood in the corner next to his shoes (looking at the ladies who run the daycare even though he knows them all) while I walked out the door. No tears, so that's always a great sign!

After I run my 2 miles and doing some weights with weight machines, I always go back and get him (yes, even on the days that I want to rip my hair out). Normally, he's off on his own playing with cars or trucks. Lining them up or color coding them (OCD, I know) by himself.

On this particular day, I walked into the daycare and didn't see him in his usual spot with his usual lady hanging out and playing. Instead he was on the other side of the room playing with a boy his age. Oh it was so nice to see him enjoying himself. I obviously stayed quiet and watched him play while signing him out.

On the way to run an errand in the car I asked him how his day was in daycare:
Me: Did you have fun?
B: Yeaaa.
Me: Did you play with the kids?
B: Yes Mommyyy
Me: What was his name?
B: Um....(really thinks) I don't know.

Oh how I wish he knew how to ask for kids names. So adorable as he didn't know his name but wanted to play with him.

Daily news about his shelves. WE HAVE A DRESSER. The 5th and 6th time I clearly drew the line and put an end to that madness. How in the world does he not get that it's a bad thing?! Don't touch your shelves. Okay I won't. What does he do? RIPS OFF THE CLOTHES AGAIN. I had my quota of anger about it and got a dresser from my parents attic.

The punishment? Help me pick up the clothes and fold them and put them away.
Okay...so is it punishment when he finds it fun? Diving into the pile of clothes and grabbing underwear and socks out and then diving into his own pile of underwear and socks? Oy!!

All in all...I will give this post a rating of happiness and not sighing.

Smile.

Motherhood.

[Insert dresser picture here]

(Pssst. I need to upload it still)

4th times a charm?

Here we go again.

You would think after being firmly told the first time it wouldn't happen again. Or being firmly told, timed out, and talked to extensively about it wouldn't happen again. Or being yelled at by mommy and daddy it wouldn't happen again.

But it did! It happened again. My son graciously threw about his clothes again in his room. Necessary yet again. At this point, I should have just found a dresser for cheap and thrown it in there. But alas! We have 3 dressers at my husband's apartment (living away during week for work (marines)) so I didn't want to spend money on a cheap used dresser. Pointless money wasting.

Our conversation afterward was just crazy. No words exchanged for the first 20 minutes. He sat on the step for his timeout. He sat and whined and tried to get my attention. Now being the great mother that I am, I ignored him. Is that wrong of me? I don't know, but what I do know is that he eventually stopped and waited patiently for me to finish picking up HIS mess.

I would normally make him pick up messes, but this mess is just to hard to handle. Having to refold all the clothes is one issue and then putting them on shelves. Instead of having him (which we all know wouldn't have gone over well), I made him pick up all his underwear and socks and put them away properly. Did I mention I threw them all over the room? Now that's just down right ridiculous of me and I've never done it before. I just got to the point of serious frustration and just did it on impulse.

He also decided to become naked boy, stripped down to his birthday suit.

Sigh.
Motherhood.

Do we need to put you back in diapers!?

Hello to all!

First time mother, but a second time blogger. Okay, so the first blog went awry but I decided to re-focus on mothering. I am Therese and I will be the one that entertains your minds about my 3 year old son.

Such as today.
My son has decided to not take naps anymore. That's okay with me seeing as I just acquired a job babysitting for a family 11-4 and he won't be getting one starting next week. Here's the kicker...last week, he decided to take all his clothes off his shelves (clean at that!) and all his clothes out of his hamper (dirty, ugh!) and throw them all over his room. Now was this necessary? No it wasn't. This is the conversation that followed after a timeout on the step:

Me: Why did you take your clothes off your shelves?
B: Because I wanted to
Me: You know better than to do that though.
B: I didn't want to sleep, Mommyyy.

That sounds like reason to me to take all clothes off his shelves. Did I mention he was underwear-less as well? That brings me to my next annoyance about no naps going on.

Today he decided to not take a nap. In honor of taking off his underwear while not napping, he decided to do it AFTER he pooped in his underwear and sit on his bed! What in the world!? I know. So I asked if he needed to go back into diapers (of course I would never do that but I couldn't help but want to know his answer), but he said no and stood in the corner pouting at me.

Now he sits in his blue folding chair that he uses for "beach parties" in our family room, watching SpongeBob, and saying AYE AYE CAPTAIN! Like all this never happened.

Sigh.
Motherhood.